When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
