Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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