If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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