My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
