Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
