youre lurking in front of me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
