is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
