did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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