I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
