erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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