last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
