girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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