he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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