She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
