Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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