We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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