I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
