Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
