Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
