we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
