the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
