jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
