I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
drinking out of a sandbucket again
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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