after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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