Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
