Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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