Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
