No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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