Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
