I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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