You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I will be naked everywhere
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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