i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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