9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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