i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
