Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
