i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
