there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
