I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
