just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize