I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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