We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
