i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
