Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
