i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
