Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
