i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
