I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You smell like stripper and shame
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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