nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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