i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No subtext here. People are naked.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
