do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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