best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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