Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
