Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
