I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
