Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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