You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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