Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
