so explain again why im purple
no
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
