Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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