Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
