this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
