ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
