Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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