We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
