We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
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