to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
