We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
