how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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